I am no longer on a quest for enlightenment.
And I am much happier for it!
I wasn’t at first. I bounced back and forth between laying practically catatonic on the sofa in my pyjamas to pacing about the apartment like a caged animal. The cat became a bit anxious watching it all go down. Releasing an old belief (especially one of which you have become quite fond) can be a messy business.
Here’s the abridged version of what happened :
- I innocently watch a video talk of a well-known spiritual teacher.
- He pronounces that we are not here for the enlightenment of our souls because our souls are sparks of divine source and therefore are already enlightened.
- My brain seizes up. It recognizes the truth in the statement, but it can’t cope with the loss of a belief I have invested a lot of time and effort into and has been a pillar of my life and work. My mind revives briefly and screams, “If this journey isn’t about soul growth and enlightenment, then what the hell ARE we doing here, and oh my god, am I going to have to completely rewrite my soon to be live website????????” You can see where my mind’s priorities lie.
- In an effort to escape the void that had opened up, my brain latches onto the spiritual teacher’s complete spiel and tries to adopt it as a new belief system even though the red warning light is flashing in my head because there are holes in his rambling theory that you could drive an RV through. I frantically try to make the pieces fit together. I fail.
- Confusion sets in and the before-mentioned catatonic/caged animal phase takes hold.
- Somewhere around hour 6 of sofa-surfing paralysis, a tiny bubble of clarity rises to the surface of my consciousness.
The video was just a trigger for releasing a belief, a belief that has given you all that it can. By releasing it there is now space in your awareness for a new perspective. Remain fluid, explore this new way of being, but resist becoming attached to it because as you embody the new information you will open up further and new knowledge will become available to your conscious mind. As you can best understand it now, you are here to be the fullest expression of your soul energy while in physical form.
- I am profoundly grateful to my guides for this message. A small wisp of relief flutters through my brain until it realizes it has no clue how to do this.
- Before complete chaos can overtake me again I realize I must act swiftly. So I blurt out, “ In this very moment how can I best express my soul energy?”
- The answer was instantaneous. “PAINT.”
- And I did. The experience was blissful and effortless (always a sign that I am in alignment with my soul energy), and I now paint some part of almost every day, something I haven’t been able to do for 7 years. Art has been a pleasurable part of my life since I was very young. I went to art school as a young adult and was a practicing artist until 7 years ago. This is like coming home to myself.
That’s how this shift in perspective began for me a couple of months ago. In my experience, assimilating new knowledge is not like being hit by a bolt of lightning and poof I’m a new person. I have to practice, and I experience bouts of heightened irritation, uncertainty, and anxiety amongst the moments of blissful alignment while I do. I need to take tiny steps, one moment at a time, to reduce the resistance my mind can throw up when it gets uncomfortable. I remind myself that there is no need to hurry because there is nowhere to hurry to. I am already everything I need to be. I’m just learning how to allow it to shine through this temporal form.
There have already been many gifts.
I now speak with my soul aspect every morning to see where to focus my attention and energies. I now know I can have access to any information I require if I just remember to ask, listen, and allow it to come through me.
A new reading has come through that interacts with us as a whole being and not one made up of battling parts. With its arrival it became clear I was going to have to say good-bye to my favourite reading, the Soul Growth Focus. It made me sad, and I tried to hang on to it until I realized that the Soul Infused Living Reading was actually the new and evolved version of it.
I have a heightened awareness of the oneness of everything because I now perceive myself as a whole, complete being and not one made up of unharmonious parts. Now to be honest, the stage I am presently at in the deepening of this awareness has resulted in some uncomfortable and intense emotions. I become overwhelmed by both extremely beautiful and happy things as well as the horrible, saddening things that are in the world and I cry and rage. I’m on a fairly strict media diet at the moment since the news tears me to pieces these days. I have faith that I will develop the ability to witness the world from a strong, peaceful, heart centered place. I’m just not there yet.
And last, but not least, I would like to share with you the two paintings that have sprung forth into the world.
I invite you to discover what your soul wants to shine into the world. Expressing your soul’s intentions is a liberating experience. Release your beliefs about what you think it should be and your judgements about it not being important or good enough. Growing up I knew a sweet, elderly woman whose lemon meringue pies made people giddy with delight. They would go for top dollar at the church auction as people tried to out bid each other to get one. She made people happy!
And if you are one of those people who suffers from the delusion that you’re too old and it’s too late, let me remind you that Grandma Moses didn’t start painting until she was 80 years old and Julia Child did not learn to cook until she was in her 40’s. What would the world have missed out on if either of those women believed it was too late?
I know people whose gifts are quiet and profound and no less powerful than the more public ones. Some of them privately enter the forests and keep company with nature consciousness. Others silently hold space for loving kindness in the world.
Share the gift of you with the world, and it will be a miraculous place.
If you are looking for a place to get started, please know I am here to assist you with getting in touch with your beautiful, powerful, loving soul self.
From my heart to yours,
P.S. My artwork is for sale. If you are interested in seeing it in person or would like further information, please contact me.